House of Musical Horrors • Episode 7 • Floorshow

[Julian]

EPISODE 7

Attention competitors, please make your way to the main stage!

Hello uglies!

Here is your challenge for the week:



Good luck, uglies. Don't die trying!

SPOILER: Click to show

JUDGES

Eke / Julian / Syr / basil

COMPETITORS

MaRtIn / agni / Luiri / ~Rethnas~ / αndreas / Callum / alexeh / Argüello / ClassifiedCat / James / Aliya / Daniel

VIEWERS

✨ Nicole ✨ / Wysteria / Dimitris / Alper

[Daniel]

uboa - detransitioning

[Daniel]

WEEK 7
INNER SABOTEUR

General Anxiety Disorder
Mascaron
Lissom
(3:34+)

---

I selected "Mascaron" by Lissom, a beautiful yet depressing depiction of a person's life with anxiety disorder which is marked by excessive worry about everyday events. While some stress and worry are a normal and even common part of life, GAD involves worry that is so excessive that it interferes with a person's well-being and functioning. And I think this is very much depicted in the lyrics of this song, alongside the depressing and almost dramatic instrumentation.

I see doubt built upon it
Be thinned out, spilt upon it
Easy vows built upon it
Be without, guilt upon it

Toy with the rest of my lung, my lung
Feign attention
I won't - you know
I couldn't cope
I couldn't cope

Deep in doubt
Wilt on it
Be worn down
Linger on it

Toy with the rest of my lung, my lung
Feign attention
I won't - you know
I couldn't cope
I couldn't cope
I couldn't cope
I couldn't cope

And proud, you threw me down a rope
It killed me
Endowed, you shut me in a home
If only I could float

Are there maybe, are there maybe
Breaks in me, breaks in me?
Are there maybe, are there maybe
Breaks in me, breaks in me?
Are there maybe, are there maybe
Breaks in me, breaks in me?
Are there maybe, are there maybe
Breaks in me, breaks in me?

thanks fagni for the post layout

[agni]

WEEK 7
INNER SABOTEUR
CW: mentions of sexual assault

"Phobia Orgasma"
Oliver Riot
(1:32+)

---

for this week, i've decided to go back to the beginning (week 1), but redeem myself by sending a slow & acoustic song that still fits the H(&)MH brand.

oliver riot is an r&b/soul duo consisting of two identical twin brothers. they also both have the same mental illness; pure O obsessive compulsive disorder

what makes primarily obsessional obsessive compulsive disorder, or pure OCD different from regular OCD is that instead of combatting intrusive thoughts by doing visual rituals (counting, hand-washing etc.) people who suffer from pure OCD perform mental rituals instead. it's all hidden so it's extremely hard to treat and even just seek help about it. it's very difficult for me to summarise the symptoms so i'll just leave this link, which i really recommend reading!

the reason why i chose this particular song is because it is not at all a comfortable listening experience, but you really get a sense of what life with pure OCD is like.

lyrics

SPOILER: Click to show

Look what you've done
Look what you've done
Cut off his head, leave him dead
Look what you've done, looking for fun

I - I'm sick
I - I - I

Look what you've done
Look what you've done

I - I'm sick
I - I - I

Then I'll see myself being raped
Then I'll see myself raping somebody
I wan't a...
I wan't a...
Straightjacket

Look what you've done, again
Look what you've done, again
Cut off his head, leave him dead
Look what you've done, looking for fun

[αndreas]

Mathew Horrod

Nicole Dollanganger - "Angels of Porn II"
2:05+
Mental illness: Anorexia

SPOILER: Click to show

[Verse 1]
My bedroom smells like rotten food
And I guess so do I
It's harder to be good in here
Than it is to starve and die

[Verse 2]
I'd give my body to Satan
If I could only keep my soul
But I can't seem to find the split
Between them anymore

[Verse 3]
My hair is falling out again
And I don't really care
I try to stir my conscience
It was never really there
Your fingers up inside of me
Feel like fingers down my throat
Everything is fine in heaven
But I'll never get to know

[Chorus]
Make sacrifice in bathtubs
And stain bed covers
Soak all my clothes in holy water
And drown them like a crying son
Drown them like a crying daughter
Praying in the night to the angels of porn
Nails in their wrists and knees on the floor
Great lakes full of cum
Extracted from everyone

"This song is about her experience being bedridden with anorexia, comparing it to being physically trapped & tortured by using imagery of sexual torture."

- Actions and thoughts of anorexic people (taking food to their bedroom and throw it / very difficult to overcome anorexia, to the point that death seems easier)

- Symptoms of anorexia (hair falling out / depression / vomiting)

- Reference to another eating disorder (bulimia)

- Reasoning ("sacrifice" in order to achieve thinness and prettiness, like e.g. porn stars)

In conclusion, eating disorders might not be what the panel is expecting for this challenge, but they are a huge issue which is largely overlooked, which is why more awareness has to be raised for them.

[Argüello]

"To Possess Is To Be In Control" by Puce Mary Week 7: Inner Saboteur ''Dissociative Identity Disorder''  Also known as Multiple Personality Disorder 3:15+ For this week we were asked to send a song about a mental illness, so my choice for this week it's the Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as Multilple Personality Disorder). This disorder is characterized by having at least two distinct personalities states of mind. The personalities alternate each toher and can be total opposite of each other.  Danish singer Puce Mary describes in the description of the video the song like this: “To Possess Is To Be In Control makes use of lyrical repetition as an ambiguity of two selves, or a divided self, attempting to consume one another''.  The singer throughout the song mimis this state of mind with agressive changes on melody of the song as both personalities alternate and try to consume each other, the song itself as the artist shows it symbolizes through the mind of a person with this mental illness and the caotic thoughts consuming each other. She explains taht song talks about the ''self divided'' parts fighting to on control of the body, cause this illness is constat war in person's mind.  This is a perfect representation of the mind of a person with a mental illness for it's feels inside their minds. Also many times this Dissociative Identity Disorder can be follow with symptoms of Schizofrenia, as also the abrupt mood changes in the song simbolize all of this.  Mary talks about a perspective to find peace and a conciliation between all her thoughts as she says: If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin (To possess, to possess) As the voices fight agaisnt her, fight for control and she represent them this voices repeating various times: ''(to possess, to possess)''. She talk in the lyrics that she feel like she is being used, like a puppet. So she used this metaphore os kinda an invasor in her skin, cause that's how this opposite personality unfamiliar feels to her,not a part of her body, another entity

LYRICS SPOILER: Click to show It makes me weak To watch you gaze and go on with that expression on your face Like a puppet It makes me weak To watch you gaze at the world Like there's nothing left It makes me sick To open my body to you To give you all I have If I can possess you Like I can possess my own body To possess is to be in control I put my hands on your body, on your flesh I feel the history of that body When I put my hands on your body I feel the history of that body (To possess, to possess) If I could attach your blood vessels So we could become each other, I would If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin (To possess, to possess) If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin To look out your eyes Forever have my lips glued with yours (To possess, to possess) Feel the history of your body (To possess, to possess) (To possess is to be in control) If I could attach your blood vessels So we could become each other, I would (To possess is to be in control) If I could attach your blood vessels And we could be together To this space and time, I would If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin I want your life What happens to it? If I could open your body and slip up inside of your skin, I would

[alexeh]

FONDALL KATS
Laura Marling - "My Manic & I"
(1:58+ but there's no clear timeslot to this pls listen in full thank you!!)



While I can't find any official confirmation of this, the lyrical content of "My Manic & I" has strong connections to bipolar disorder throughout. The opening line "He wants to die in a lake in Geneva" introduces a character who's depressed, referring to a place that is known for assisting suicide. The first verse appears to show Laura not believing the cries for help or suicidal thoughts ("I don't believe him"), but as the song progresses she becomes more connected to the 'manic'.

"He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him, and sometimes with scorn and I sometimes believe him"
This is where the 'manic' is described more explicitly as 'hot and cold', she doesn't seem to know which she's going to get - whether the thoughts will be positive ('with kisses') or negative ('with scorn').

"And sometimes I'm convinced that my friends think I'm crazy, get scared and call him but he's usually hazy"
This is where the song starts to become more clearly about bipolar disorder, as she acknowledges that the 'manic' is vying for her attention when she doesn't want to give it, and when she wants to prove to her friends that she isn't 'crazy' and the man is there, he's 'hazy' and not around.

Laura frequently switches pronouns in this song, between "he", "you", "we" and "I", further representing that this is not about a real, physical relationship, but instead about mental illness - she first refers to them as two separate identities, then as one joined identity, then just one singular identity. This is particularly evident in the 'chorus' of the song, which changes from "These are the reasons I think that you're ill" to "These are the reasons I think that we're ill" to "These are the reasons I think that I'm ill".

The song closes with a reference to medication as she reaches a form of contentment with her disorder, "And birds are singing to calm us down". You can find the full lyrics in the spoiler below.

SPOILER: Click to show

He wants to die in a lake in Geneva
The mountains can cover the shape of his nose
He wants to die where nobody can see him
But the beauty of his death will carry on so
I don't believe him

He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him
And sometimes we're scorned and sometimes I believe him
And sometimes I'm convinced, my friends think I'm crazy
Get scared and call him but he's usually hazy

At one in the morning, day is not ended
By two he is scared that sleep is no friend
And by four he will drink but he cannot feel it
Sleep will not come because sleep does not will it
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me

I?ll wander the streets, avoiding them eats
?Til the ring on my finger slips to the ground
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city
The veins of which have broken me down
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me

Oh, the Gods that he believes never fail to amaze me
He believes in the love of his God of all things
But I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him

I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill

And since last that we parted
Last that I saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I

He couldn't see me, the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down
And birds were singing to calm us down

And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend
I don't believe in a fairytale end
I don't keep my head up all of the time
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind

And I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that we're ill
I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that I'm ill

And the Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
The Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me

My nihilist, my happy man, my manic and I
Have no plans to move on

But birds are singing to calm us down
And birds are singing to calm us down

He wants to die in a lake in Geneva
The mountains can cover the shape of his nose
He wants to die where nobody can see him
But the beauty of his death will carry on so
I don't believe him

He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him
And sometimes we're scorned and sometimes I believe him
And sometimes I'm convinced, my friends think I'm crazy
Get scared and call him but he's usually hazy

At one in the morning, day is not ended
By two he is scared that sleep is no friend
And by four he will drink but he cannot feel it
Sleep will not come because sleep does not will it
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me

I?ll wander the streets, avoiding them eats
?Til the ring on my finger slips to the ground
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city
The veins of which have broken me down
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me

Oh, the Gods that he believes never fail to amaze me
He believes in the love of his God of all things
But I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him

I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill

And since last that we parted
Last that I saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I

He couldn't see me, the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down
And birds were singing to calm us down

And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend
I don't believe in a fairytale end
I don't keep my head up all of the time
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind

And I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that we're ill
I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that I'm ill

And the Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
The Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me

My nihilist, my happy man, my manic and I
Have no plans to move on

But birds are singing to calm us down
And birds are singing to calm us down

[ClassifiedCat]

DONNA THE DYKE
WEEK 7
INNER SABOTEUR

Vater
Soap&Skin
(4:44)

---

This week I've decided to focus on not just one "mental illness", but two. "Vater" encapsulates the illnesses of PTSD with underlying themes of anxiety disorder 

PTSD is a mental illness that develops in one after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, such as war, rape, death or abuse, just to name some of the potential traumatic events. In the case of "Vater", the song relates to the death of Soap&Skin's father, and the lyrics seem to tell a heart-wrenching story about how Soap&Skin struggles to cope with the passing, furthered by a sonic noise of anguish and pain commonly associated with the disorder. Reports show that approximately 2% of the population struggle with PTSD.

Please get out of my head, my house
how else can I stand the horror?
With what heart, with what body
Out
Out

These lyrics show how the death of her father is always in her mind. The anguish and trauma that she goes through as she remembers his presence in her life. Symptoms of PTSD include disturbing thoughts and feelings in relation to the event, furthered by mental stress as a result of trauma. In this case, it appears that she's seeing him everywhere that she goes.

Wherever I end up I'll find you
You fall into the shadows of days
As silence and sting
I drink dozens of bottles of wine
And would rather be a maggot

These lyrics continue to show the feelings of anguish and trauma that she is going through. Using alcohol as an attempt to numb the pain of the PTSD symptoms leads to a vicious cycle which worsens the anxiety of PTSD, leading to an endorphin release. It seems that no matter where Anja goes, she is not able to escape away from this traumatic event. Flashbacks are a distinguishing symptom of PTSD, as the song continues to outlay.. 

The coffin collapses
the flowers fall into your cheeks
First white, then blue, then gray, then green,
Then foam, then brown and leaves and dust

It's clear that Soap&Skin actually witnessed the death of her father, hence triggering the trauma of PTSD. She is hyper-imagining his corpse falling about, explicitly explaining how his corpse turns into a "maggot" by disintegrating into dust. In other parts of the song, she herself would rather be a maggot. because now that he is buried in the earth, maggots are the closest thing to him there is.

Waiting won't help me, nor wine, nor screaming
For everything in the world
that keeps you alive
I smash my firmament
to collapse beneath you
till you give in
and finally show up again

The song ends essentially as an omen, as a cry for help. She tries everything to be able to numb the trauma using all sorts of method, but despite all her attempts, "everything in the world" is keeping the presence of him alive in her mind. As she smashes her "firmament" in a desperate attempt to collapse beneath him, to err away from continuous anguish, it's evident that these "flashbacks", these visions will only continue to show up.

Haltet alle Uhren an hindert den Hund daran das Rad anzubellen Wo immer ich aufschlage find' ich dich Du fällst im Schatten der Tage als Stille und Stich Ich trink' auf dich dutzende Flaschen Wein und will doch viel lieber eine Made sein Der Sarg fällt zusammen die Blumen fallen in die Wangen Zuerst weiß, dann blau, dann grau, dann grün dann Schaum, dann braun und Laub und Staub Bitte schlag dich aus meinem Kopf, meinem Haus wie sonst halte ich den Graus aus? Mit welchem Herz, mit welchem Körper aus? Aus Wo immer ich aufschlage find' ich dich Du fällst im Schatten der Tage als Stille und Stich Ich wart' auf dich, wann kommst du wieder heim? Ich wollt' noch nie lieber eine Made sein Eine Made sein Eine Made sein Eine Made sein Eine Made Lass mich rein, rein, beinhart wie du sein lass mich in dein Aug' hinein Ich will es seh'n, die Prüfung besteh'n ohne Pein, ohne Pein lass mich rein, du Stein Mir hilft kein Warten und kein Wein kein Schreien Um alles in der Welt, das dich am Leben hält zerschlag' ich auch mein Himmelszelt auf dass es unter dir zusammenfällt und du dich neigst und du dich endlich wieder zeigst

Stop all the clocks, Stop the dog from Barking at the wheel, Wherever I end up I'll find you You fall into the shadows of days As silence and sting I drink dozens of bottles of wine And would rather be a maggot The coffin collapses the flowers fall into your cheeks First white, then blue, then gray, then green,  Then foam, then brown and leaves and dust Get out of my mind, out of my house How else should I cope with the torment? With which heart? With which body? Out. Out. Wherever I end up I'll find you You fall into the shadows of days As silence and sting I'm waiting for you, when will you return home? I never wanted to be a maggot more than (I do) now ...to be a maggot ...to be a maggot .. Let me in, into (your) bones Being hard as you are Let me in your eye I want to see it, I want to pass the test Without pain, Without pain Without pain Let me in, You stone! Waiting won't help me, nor wine, nor screaming For everything in the world that keeps you alive I smash my firmament to collapse beneath you till you give in and finally show up again

thanks agni for the post layout

AND THANKS DANIEL I LOVE YOU